Zen

Today is a fresh new start.  In a way I'm closing the chapter of one part of my life and moving on to another.  There are other chapters that need to be closed but I have to start small.  In all honestly I didn't want to close this chapter, but sometimes things get to the point that you have to.  Things have been said and feelings hurt but this is what it finally came down to. 

Now I need to get myself to focus on other things I need to change.  I was told I have changed in the past year.  I know I have, you can't go through what I have and not.  But now is the time to shift the focus and put it on myself so I can be a better person.  I can't let what people say and do have such an effect on me anymore.  It just throws me off balance.  I need to find myself again and work from there. 

It's a little scary, I wont lie.  But I am looking forward in the changes that will come.  I will lose friends, but the real ones will remain.  True friends stand by you no matter what.  I'm seeing that now. What is important is that I'm a stronger person for my children and I show them not to let anything or anyone hold them down.  That you should find happiness and not settle for what you think is what everyone wants.  To trust your gut and if something doesn't feel right, walk away before it is too late. But most important, never regret what you have gone through or the choices you made.  Those choices are lessons that you grow from.

 You can't live in the "What If?".  I have been trying to do that and can't anymore.  You are only left wondering if the chance you had with someone is the only one you get.  For me, I'm realizing that now.  As much as I wonder if there ever will be another chance, I have to wake up and see the light.  The chance I though may be there is gone.  Again, time to move on.  Time to find peace in my life again.

Peace, Love, &Hope~JC